As poor as a churchmouse,

As thin as a rail,

As fat as a porpoise,

As rough as a gale,

As brave as a lion,

As spry as a cat,

As bright as a sixpence,

As weak as a rat.



As proud as a peacock,

As sly as a fox,

As mad as a March hare,

As strong as an ox,

As fair as a lily,

As empty as air,

As rich as was Croesus,

As cross as a bear.



As pure as an angel,

As neat as a pin,

As smart as a steel trap,

As ugly as sin.

As dead as a door nail,

As white as a sheet,

As flat as a pancake,

As red as a beet.



As round as an apple,

As black as your hat,

As brown as a berry,

As blind as a bat,

As mean as a miser,

As full as a tick,

As plump as a partridge,

As sharp as a stick.



As clean as a penny,

As dark as a pall,

As hard as a millstone,

As bitter as gall,

As fine as a fiddle,

As clear as a bell,

As dry as a herring,

As deep as a well.



As light as a feather,

As hard as a rock,

As stiff as a poker,

As calm as a clock,

As green as a goslin,

As brisk as a bee,

And now let me stop,

Lest you weary of me.

From Chance Hits [1915] by Norman H. Chance.