We learn these shapes in childhood: triangle, diamond, circle, square. A diamond is a kite against sky-blue skies; a circle, the sun. Half it, the moon. We cut hearts from red paper folded in two. At eight I was asked to draw my first little nude--a boy at recess wanted me to, paid a quarter for a full length view. My nude wasnÕt like women in books parents put on the high shelves with their unsmiling heads and round behinds stirring from sleep. Mine resembled what little I knew of bodies, a flat paper doll girl with no underwear on. Her nipples were not dots but ice cream cones, her mons a chubby letter u. Soon she was rolled up tightly like a spyglass in his hands. He liked her okay, I liked the slyness, the simple pretense of art: this boy wanted pornography, not a nude. I wanted notoriety for drawing like an adult at school, not telling all and never feeling dirty.
1
We met in August
in the unforgiving heat
for a walk to the resevoir,
the black water.
You undressed there
without speaking, dove
in without me to come
up like a fish's instinctual arc.
Watching you I thought
it too easy to be lovers,
to say yes.
2
Women deceive themselves,
you tell me. They've hurt
you, you feel it coming
like a rumble.
What is it, what makes
me bring your head
to my blouse, kiss down
the curls of your hair...
3
At night I see your body
in dream water,
it lifts, twists
as I stand on shore.
Falling stars break
up above us,
come down close.
With my eyes closed
a voice pulls out your name.
4
You're very good
at apologies and excuses,
but there are more important
things to day.
For instance,
today I brought a dress
5
because I imagined
another man behind me
in the mirror, unzipping
it, helping it down
to my ankles
where it would feel
like water, shallow
and warm. How long
would it keep me there,
hold me before I dive.
More work from this author may be found in the Adobe Acrobat version of this issue.