Australia

by Pat Guiney

My daddy used to break my heart, but I suppose it was even worse for my mom. When I was about six he held me on my knee. Mom was gone to take care of grandma for a few days. She was dying of bone marrow cancer, but that's a whole other story. My dad said, "Mom's on a trip so maybe we should go on a trip, too."

"Yeah!" I said.

"Where do you want to go, Leo?" He was bouncing me up and down.

"Australia."

I have no idea why I said Australia, but I knew it was good and far away, and I wanted to go up in an airplane. Dad said he would take me wherever I wanted to go, just as soon as he came back from doing some things.

"Even Australia?"

"Sure Leo. Australia it is."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Then Dad left and Lisa took care of us, because she was twelve, and Daddy always called her his big girl. She made us some Dinty Moore beef stew.

Macaroni and cheese was my favorite but Lisa and Debbie liked stew more so I was fucked. I tried not to tell anyone that Dad was taking me to Australia.

I didn't want them to know because they'd probably bitch about it a whole lot and force my Dad to take them also. I kept it to myself, a hot private truth that I could think about when I liked, especially when my sisters were pains in my ass. But suddenly, while we were eating, the urge to taunt them became overpowering and it exploded out of me:

"Dad's taking me to Australia."

Lisa burst out laughing. "He is not!"

"He is too!"

"Is not."

I was very disappointed that my revelation did not have the desired effect. I felt hot and indignant, and embarrassed, but I held fast.

"He is taking me and he said he wanted to go with just me and...no one else could go"

"I bet you don't even know where Australia is," Lisa said. She was right but I didn't think that had anything to do with it. "You're such a stupid dork."

I started to cry so I ran to my room. I hated it when my sisters saw me cry.

I awoke with a start in the middle of the night, after a few hours of disorienting sleep. I was pointed the wrong way on my bed. My shoes were on. I struggled to remember who I was, and where I was, and then what happened with my sister being such an asshole. Then I heard the door downstairs, slowly creaking open. Then I remembered that my daddy was taking me to Australia and that this was probably him, coming in the middle of the night so my sisters would never even know. I ran down the stairs. My dad looked up all scared, like he didn't even recognize me, like I was somebody else's little boy. There was a lady behind him. She was scared also.

"Dad! Are we going to Australia now?"

"Leo!..."

"Dad! Australia. Member?"

"Leo, for Christ's sake, it's late, get undressed and go to bed."

"Are we going to Australia tomorrow?" I was beginning to feel chagrined.

"Leo, uh, we'll go...some other time, OK?"

I was really bummed out. Why did Lisa always have to be smarter than me?

Why did she always know everything? The lady was smoking a cig on my mom's favorite chair in the living room. Except that whereas Mom sat back in the chair and crossed her legs and read People magazine, the lady was sitting with her ass barely on the edge of the seat, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and her pocketbook in her lap.